Wednesday, October 01, 2008


I remember the first time I held you in my hands. You were looking at me with your tiny unfocused eyes trying to make sense of the new world around you.

And then we had to live apart for a few years. When I came to receive you guys at the airport, I remember that three year old kid asking your mum who I was, and in my mind, I made a promise to myself that we would never again stay apart, because I wanted to be around while you guys were growing up.

I remember the defiant child about to step into teenage, always testing the limits of what was allowed and consequently my patience. And I still vividly remember the dream I had of you falling of a roof and me waking up soaked in sweat.

I also remember the teenager telling me in a fit of rage, that she did not have a single happy memory about me. It really hurt. I guess it is the traumatic moments that are burnt more deeply in memory.

But I also remember you asking me for help when you needed it. And the moments when you made me feel proud. Those I will cherish till the day I die.

You have grown up and are now ready to take on the world on your own and I wish you all the best in life.

I just wish it could have been a bit different. You did not have to remove the pedestal from beneath my feet. "The job is over, thank you for your services and you may retain the title." We could have parted as friends. Instead of this pain that all of us have to go through now.


Vinod_Sharma said...

That really hurts....

But you too have to move the next service that life wants you to render - without the bitterness and pain of the past.

Sagarone said...

Thanks, Vinod.

Pinku said...

Sagarone...I am so sorry and also humbled you just made me realise how much for granted I take my mom at times. Dad died when I was 15 and its cause of her I am what I am.

Sad isnt it, you dont have your child with you and I dont have my dad? and we both yearn.

Usha said...

I hope I don't undermine the depth of your feelings if I were to say that I understand how you feel. But I am a parent too and isn't this the shared destiny of most parents?